Brothers Karamazov

I just thought I would share with you all that I am reading a fabulous book, which most of you may have already read when younger and more tenacious about exposing yourself to classic literature. My exposure to most of the timeless masterpieces has been limited. However, I am at a place in my life where reading them is a priority and utter delight. And so this is what I want to share with you. The book that I am currently reading is 'The Brothers Karamazov' by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. I have heard some say that the details are a bit laborious but I have not found that to be true. I love the intricacy of the writing and care that the author has taken to say something profound even in the minutia. I am only a couple of hundred pages into it but the spiritual insight and truths that have already been introduced are thought provoking and worth contemplation. So, as some of you may have already read this lovely work of art and know what I am talking about, I am passing on a good word to the rest of you....you should pick this book up if you ever have a chance!

Here is an excerpt that I particularly enjoyed (not that I fully agree but I still find it beautiful)...this is being said by a distinguished and honorable elder of the church to a woman wrestling with her lack of faith in the future life....the 'enigma', as she puts it. This was the elder's response to her about how she could convince herself....

"By the experience of active love. Strive to love your neighbour actively and indefatigably. In as far as you advance in love you will grow surer of the reality of God and of the immortality of your soul. If you attain to perfect self-forgetfulness in the love of your neighbour, then you will believe without doubt, and no doubt can possibly enter your soul. This has been tried. This is certain."

5 months

I have been home for over 5 months……which is longer than I was in Sierra Leone. The time has gone by at a record speed. It makes me sad to feel the distance that the time has put between me and those I love in Freetown. My life is forever changed, their finger prints are all over my heart…. but they feel faded a bit…in a way, they feel disconnected. I still ache to be with them, to hear their laughter and feel the strength of their love. But, I am ashamed to admit that busyness has separated me from them. I do not want them to be a sexy story that is part of my life. They deserve more than that. They deserve the dignity of being missed and thought of and prayed for! This is something that I haven’t taken the time to prioritize. To be honest, I haven’t taken much time for reflection and quiet since I started at Mosaic in many areas of my life. But enough is enough. It is time to start processing (for lack of a better word) all the various issues and areas of my heart that I trying to come to terms with….and so that is why I am back to blogging. You all have been wonderful about asking me to continue processing and sharing with you what I am up to these days. So, if you will allow me and will go with me, I would love to process through these things with you. I will try to update my blog often as I am unpacking what the Lord is showing me and the issues that I am coming to terms with.

So, as I am unpacking issues that are arising, it would probably be helpful if I were to share what I am actually doing with my days. Many of you have asked and I am sorry that I haven’t taken the time to share until now. In February, I officially started working at Mosaic Community Development (http://www.mosaiccd.org/) as an Americorp Vista. Mosaic is a non-profit in Omaha that directly works with the poor. Mosaic is a relationally driven ministry that emphasizes knowing the people we are serving and not just doling out food, clothing or services. I had been involved with Mosaic before I went to Sierra Leone via one of the ministries, Life on the Brick, and loved it. Life on the Brick is our “feeding program” and is the time during the week when we have the privilege of serving meals to the community and engaging in relationship with those that join us. We serve dinner ever Monday evening and breakfast every Saturday but more than the food... we offer friendship. The ministry is a perfect fit for my little relational-self! :)

So, back to my job…my specific duties at Mosaic are to take care of all of our finances, along with coordinating our Life Transitions program and assisting in making Life on the Brick happen. My plate is very full but I cannot tell you how much I love what I am doing. I enjoy that even though I am doing administrative tasks, I am thriving at giving my life and skills to the poor. It is also a perfect fit because relationship with those we serve is priority and so I get to take work time to invest into my friends here. I cannot imagine a better job for me!

Well that is all for now...I know it is long but it has been awhile since I shared. From here on out, this will be journey of working at Mosaic, asking the Lord why Omaha, what serving the poor really means and the many other questions and issues that I am wrestling with these days.

Thank you SO much for your interest and support that you have given to me as I am pursuing what it means to serve the poor with my life!